DahDerpasaur Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 6 hours ago, Kaprodonychus said: Thanks. Yeah that's why Ajay said don't talk too loud in the second chapter. That also explains the Balaur jongler's name. The trickster dragon Ah, I see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 2 hours ago, DahDerpasaur said: Ah, I see. Yeah. Chapter 4 should be releasing around the holidays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirHaloMaster Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Wow, this is incredible, you have real talent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 1 hour ago, SirHaloMaster said: Wow, this is incredible, you have real talent Thanks man. I always try to improve my writing and everyone's comments are really awesome and writing this story alone is helping me improve my writing. So thanks everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirHaloMaster Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 1 hour ago, Kaprodonychus said: Thanks man. I always try to improve my writing and everyone's comments are really awesome and writing this story alone is helping me improve my writing. So thanks everyone! No problem! I understand how difficult writing stories can be, especially fan fic, so I think that this is a brilliant use of talent to craft something that is so well done Previously, I began work on my own Ark fan fiction, yet I gave up due to difficulty and pressure of exams. However, having read this I have been inspired to continue with my own story ? Thanks for that inspiration and good luck writing this and I look forward to reading more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 1 hour ago, SirHaloMaster said: No problem! I understand how difficult writing stories can be, especially fan fic, so I think that this is a brilliant use of talent to craft something that is so well done Previously, I began work on my own Ark fan fiction, yet I gave up due to difficulty and pressure of exams. However, having read this I have been inspired to continue with my own story ? Thanks for that inspiration and good luck writing this and I look forward to reading more No problem man. Link the fan fic to me when you complete your first chapter and I'll be following it all the way. Yeah fan fics are hard. I tried to do a Jurassic world one but it didn't work (not giving up tho lol) so I moved on to ark cause there's heaps of possibilities. I also think I'm the only one who's going outside of the box and adding the creators and letting them find a way out of the ark. I even have a sequel/expansion lol . But the sequel could also be made as its own story altogether (might do both) but the sequel is gonna have whole new characters and it will be years after they left the ark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 2 hours ago, SirHaloMaster said: No problem! I understand how difficult writing stories can be, especially fan fic, so I think that this is a brilliant use of talent to craft something that is so well done Previously, I began work on my own Ark fan fiction, yet I gave up due to difficulty and pressure of exams. However, having read this I have been inspired to continue with my own story ? Thanks for that inspiration and good luck writing this and I look forward to reading more But yeah I wish you luck with your fan fic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirHaloMaster Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 8 hours ago, Kaprodonychus said: No problem man. Link the fan fic to me when you complete your first chapter and I'll be following it all the way. Yeah fan fics are hard. I tried to do a Jurassic world one but it didn't work (not giving up tho lol) so I moved on to ark cause there's heaps of possibilities. I also think I'm the only one who's going outside of the box and adding the creators and letting them find a way out of the ark. I even have a sequel/expansion lol . But the sequel could also be made as its own story altogether (might do both) but the sequel is gonna have whole new characters and it will be years after they left the ark Aha thanks Good luck with yours too, as I said before And, yah, you're right about the heaps of possibilities, there's so many ways that one could craft a story out of Ark. Also, yep, those creators do sound interesting and so does a sequel, you just need to finish the current story first! Anyways, I will continue to keep up to date with this fan fic of course and am excited to see what will unravel within the next chapter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 2 hours ago, SirHaloMaster said: Aha thanks Good luck with yours too, as I said before And, yah, you're right about the heaps of possibilities, there's so many ways that one could craft a story out of Ark. Also, yep, those creators do sound interesting and so does a sequel, you just need to finish the current story first! Anyways, I will continue to keep up to date with this fan fic of course and am excited to see what will unravel within the next chapter yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 18, 2016 Author Share Posted March 18, 2016 Just a little tease of what piece of artwork is coming next. Can you guess what it is? Hint: the scar kinda gives it away if you remember chapter 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 24, 2016 Author Share Posted March 24, 2016 Once again im away to do any work on chapter 4. Bummer. Why is everything so timed out so I can't even lay a finger on chapter 4, oh well. Well I have started it so don't worry. I'll probz do more dossiers and pieces of artwork. Yutyrannus or platybelodon are the next dossiers.(in that order) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted March 27, 2016 Author Share Posted March 27, 2016 Name: veloci species: velociraptor sicarius wild: unlike our large and powerful raptors like jongler and prime, velociraptor sicarius are small like oviraptors and troodons. They live in packs of six or more in the deep jungles, swamps or any biome that hosts a lot of trees and undergrowth. Despite them being small, their intelligence and sickle claws and be proven to be deadly weapons if you're walking alone. known information: Velociraptors are small, speedy assassins, they've adapted to climbing up and down trees with out any struggle and can jump extremely high and use their small feathers to safely glide down without any trouble. But their deadly weapon is their phenomenal sickle claws. Velociraptors use themselves as living spears, darting straight towards their prey and zip pass, slicing their throat with their serrated sickle claws while the rest of the pack nip and scratch. They can even effectively pounce small animals and claw them to death, including humans.... domestication: velociraptors are tamed to be prehistoric hitmen. They are trained to use their sickle claws to effectively kill their targets. They can creep through small holes and vents and can kill their targets without a sound. They are also used as hunters, tracking prey and immobilising their prey with their claws, slowing their prey down for the bigger hunters such as australovenator intrepidus and megaraptor missis. If you want someone dead, tame a velociraptor....just make sure that you're not alone while doing so....and cover your neck and weak joints... health: low/moderate damage: very high speed: very high (for its size) stam: high weight: low resources it gathers: meat, raw prime, blood, hide, pelt resources you harvest from it: raw meat, hide, feathers, pelt, keratin tameable: yes rideable: no unique tame: troodon taming style carry on shoulder: undecided (possibly not, tell me what you think) authors notes: nothing really much to say about this guy. I like it! ALSO TELL ME IF YOU WANT IT TO BE ABLE TO BE ON YOUR SHOULDER!!! Thank you Vote now for the next dossier! platybelodon titanoceratops (yes this is a real dinosaur) yutyrannus (sorry this guy got delayed. But rest assured he should be good) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted April 7, 2016 Author Share Posted April 7, 2016 Ok finally! I have time to do my next chapter. Make sure to follow my other thread 'ark rising obelisks *dossiers* all of my dossiers are going to be added there. The next dossier will be daeodon but Make sure to vote for the next creature. Chapter 4: Enrolment day We didn't stop running. We couldn't stop running nor did we want to. We just looked straight, and ran. I didn't know how far I could go until my lungs would burst. We were lost; lost in our own fear and shadow. Flashbacks began darting through my mind. The camp....the bodies.....Andrew.... I bet his body still hangs up on that tree, with the alpha Balaur tearing off small pieces of flesh off his back. Piece by piece. The others were doing the same as me, just running and not looking back, although they were ahead of me, except Marcus. He was a lot bigger and muscular than us so he must be hanging back just in case something follows us. The other 3 were just ahead of us and chimp was swinging on the vines above us. I had a feeling we were being followed, although I couldn't see anything; I could only hear them. The squawks and hisses were coming the both sides and from behind us. We were close to a clearing, the great sun shun bright through the undergrowth. I could smell the fresh air slowly creeping into the jungle, seducing us. The chirps and hissing got louder, as if the creatures were getting closer. 'Please don't tell me it's a Balaur, please?' I said to myself. We've been through too much to encounter another Balaur. I quickly glanced back and saw nothing. 'What is it? I can't see it, I can only hear it. Am I going instance? What is it?!' We managed to Catch up to the other three. They appeared to have stopped right in their tracks. I fell to my knees, panting, trying to catch my breath. Chimp had dropped down and climbed on Ajay's shoulder. We stopped by a large, abnormal fig tree, its roots entwined with other trees and tangled in dozens of vines. The trees were creaking and cracking. The wind blowing through the trees sounded like a hurricane, blowing leaves off their branches and onto the floor. It took me a while to realise why we stopped. The creatures; they were all around us, I just never saw them. They were running on the tree branches and perched themselves on the large fig tree. They stool close to the shadows, darkening themselves, despite them being light coloured. You could've mistaken them as large macaws sitting on the tree staring at you, despite their long snouts and muscular legs. They were eyeing us off; one had the guts to even walk out of the darkness and reveal itself. It was beautiful. It had a light coloured pattern of different bright colours; yellow, red, white and some touches of black, orange and brown. It was a Velociraptor. The rest of the back came up behind it, although a couple climbed up the tree and ran along the branches. They seemed harmless, but I knew they couldn't be, not with those sickle claws. They were unlike anything I've ever seen. The claws were large for the creature's size, but they were serrated. Like small little spikes on top of the claw, pointing backwards, towards the foot. "What are they?" I heard Alice say behind me. "Velociraptors," I replied. "What? You mean the raptors from those Jurassic park movies? They look pretty small," Marcus piped in. "You halfwit," Ajay snapped "the dinosaurs in Jurassic park aren't the real things. The scientists mixed them with other DNA genes. They're fake dinosaurs" "So are these," I said "They're not the real dinosaurs that we know.....they're evolved species, designed to survive this new world." "Humph, same thing" Marcus groaned. "Idiot," Ajay murmured. "Guys!" Rose yelled. "Look!" We turned back at the tree to see nothing; the raptors disappeared without a noise. We looked around to try and find them. Gone; not even a clue to where they went. They just...disappeared. "Run." I said "What?" They asked "Shut up and get to the opening now." They obeyed and we all bolted for the clearing. I realised why the left, ever since I looked at those sickle claws. There's a reason why they have those types of claws. Those claws were made to kill larger animals, although they can't run up and kill them because of their size. They're ambush predators, most raptors were ambush predators. They could be following us right now, waiting for the next oppor- "Look out!" Rose screamed from behind me. I look back to see a velociraptor jumping down from its tree, darting itself straight towards me. The creature zipped pass and used its right, serrated sickle claw to leave a small cut on my right cheek. If I didn't turn around, the raptor would've sliced my neck and I would be dead, but sh*t! That hurt! We ran faster, knowing that the raptors intentions are to eat us for breakfast. The gash on my face began to bleed and trickle down my cheek. "Watch your joints!" I yelled. "They'll try and cripple you!" We continued running, covering the nape of our necks and throats. The raptors kept coming for us. Throwing themselves at us like javelins, skimming by and slicing our bodies. Our implants began buzzing and were slowly turning purple. Chimp jumped back to my shoulder and became our small bodyguard, throwing anything it could grab. As we kept running, the raptor attacks died off, I turned back to see why. It was Marcus. They must've crippled him and now they're slowly dragging him away, tearing at his clothes. I didn't let Ajay get killed and eaten by troodons, I'm not gonna leave Marcus behind. I tore off a branch from a tree and started attacking the raptors. They yelped and jumped away and climbed up the trees. I tried to pull Marcus but he pushed me away. "Go on without me," he whined "the damn creatures got me behind the knees. I can't walk." I looked down at his legs. Sure enough, he had bloody cuts behind his knees and his implant in his arm was halfway purple. "No one gets left behind," I said as I pulled him up and walked with him, whacking any creature that got too close. I looked up to see Chimp running away with the others. Once again, that f*cking monkey has left me again. As we continued to escape the forest, Marcus began to lose his energy and strength to keep going. He was bleeding too much and he will soon lose consciousness. The velociraptors kept chasing us, although now they were on the ground, jumping up at us or nipping at our ankles and calves. I turned around and hit the majority of the raptors with one big swing. They ran off, yelping and squealing, but I knew that they would come back. When one problem ends, another one starts. When I turned back to keep moving forward, Marcus collapsed to the floor. He's unconscious. This is turning out to be harder than what it really needs to be. The other 3 are nowhere in sight, they must've not realised and have already reached the clearing, but surely I should be able to see them. I looked down at Marcus. He was a big man, but I think I could carry him for a bit. The hisses and barks belonging to the velociraptors began to disturb the silence again. They were coming back for more. Fear and anger consumed me and so I grabbed Marcus's hand and pull him and put him on behind my shoulders. I quickly jogged to the clearing, but even if I was running by myself, the raptors would've caught up; although they're just waiting. Waiting for me to collapse so they can run in and kill us both. As I continued, my strength began to weaken. 'Almost there. You can do it Chris. Yes, yes. You can reach the clearing and get to the others!' We were on the edge of the forest, and that's when my arms began to weaken. I literally lost all the strength and power in my body and collapsed. 'Where was everybody else? Why haven't they come to save us?' I felt betrayed and defeated. Left for dead with Marcus lying on top of my chests, waiting for the velociraptors to eat our bleeding corpses. I've been in this position too many f*cking times and these creatures never end it quickly. The creatures must've gotten bored and charged at us. *BANG* My eyes blinks and I was welcomed by a raptor to my face. I pushed it off and realised it had a hole going through the side of its face. *BANG BANG* Two more raptors fell to their death. They were being shot at. The creatures screeched as the gunshots continued and they ran back into the safety of the forest. To my left were silhouettes of 7 men wielding guns, moving closer and checking their surroundings, fingers on the trigger. Two other people ran to us and picked us up and helped us get to the soldiers. My vision cleared again and I saw that we were heading to a quetzalcoatlus which had a small hangar on its back. More people were waiting for us inside, including Alice, Rose, Ajay and Chimp. They were bandaged and had blankets around their bodies while others tended to their wounds. We walked up into the hangar and I sat down with them while Marcus was put into a medical bed. I hope he was ok. The company of my friends kinda made me feel a bit better and happier. They smiled and we talked as we got bandaged. "What is this place?" I asked my comrades "You're in hangar 37," one of the medics said, "You're under the protection of the Citadel, the capital city of the Ark." "The Ark?" Alice questioned. "Yes, the Ark. That's what we call the island." "How did you find us?" I asked. That was probably the main question of the day. "We were informed that the merchant’s tribe's base was destroyed by the Vanquishers. We flew down here to pick them up...obviously you're not from the merchants." The medic proposed and she looked at our ragged clothes, drenched in blood. "So my question is...who are you?" "Well....uhhhh...we're newbies," Rose chuckled. "Aye, fresh meat" she smiled "Well I'd welcome you but this is the last place in the world to be in." Her smile faded and stood up. "You're all fine, you're friend however needs more treatment" she looked over at Marcus who's sleeping on the medic bed, being bandaged by other doctors. "The merchants are dead," Ajay protested. "All of them; killed by black raptors." The medic turned and looked back at us. "Keep your information until you get to the Citadel, I can't help you with that sort of drama. Now get some sleep, we'll arrive to the citadel in a few hours," she finished and walked off. It took me a while to realise that we were already in the air. The conversation had distracted me from what was happening in the real world. I looked out the window to see a vast landscape, filled with a variety of dinosaurs, mammals, pterosaurs and a variety of other prehistoric creatures. It was still pretty early in the day and I haven't had sleep in a while. Everyone else had fallen asleep when I turned back to look in the hangar. Before I went to sleep, I wanted to observe the hangar from where I was sitting. Besides me, chimp and the other four, there were 12 others. There were the seven soldiers who shot the raptors before, and then there were the 4 medics and the pilot. The pilot sat at the front on a large arm chair, controlling the Quetzalcoatlus with large, thick chains. The pilot had a large panoramic view, to see his surroundings. The soldiers were on the other side of the hangar, laughing and talking to each other. They would glance at us occasionally but nothing more. Their uniforms were coloured grey and brown and their badge was a picture of a cathedral or citadel and a tower right behind it. It was dark; the only light sources were our implants and the red light near the hangar door. There was a green light underneath it but it was turned off. The red light possibly means that the hangar door is closed. I could be wrong. Half an hour went by and I was beginning to feel drowsy. I lay on the bench I was sitting on, and closed my eyes, waiting until I eventually fell asleep. The dreams I had were unsettling. First I found myself lying inside some type of spaceship. It was all black with faint neon blue lines moving about the dark surface. I couldn't move, my dream was more like a movie, and I was one of the people in the audience, trying to anticipate what's gonna happen next. I was chained up and couldn't sit up or even turn to my side. I lay next to others who were also in-prisoned in chains. The person on my right was screaming. He had blood trickling down from his eyes and was topless, covered in scars from his neck down to his waist. All of his teeth were removed and so was his tongue, all he could do was scream and cough up blood in the process...that is...until THEY came. The surface the prisoner was lying on moved away, taking him with it until there was a good 3-5 metre gap between us. Then out of the shadows appeared 5 inhuman figures. They stepped forth and turned their backs on me...but let's face it...I didn't want to look at their faces. Their skin looked like reptilian armour. There were at least 3 different creatures. 3 of them were bipedal creatures that were short and chubby they seemed to be moving everything with their minds rather than their hands. The second one was more of a hound or alien cat. Still with the reptilian armour but had strange glowing quills and drooled neon green saliva, bearing its large fangs. The last one was the largest and had 4 arms and its spinal bones stuck out like a spine and then shortened down to its tail. If I wasn't mistaken I believe it was also levitating. The 3 small figures were moving sharp tools and other abnormal and dangerous objects and were using them on the prisoner. More blood curdling screams of pain came from the main. The hound creature and tall alien just observed, not even stirred by the screams. One of the smaller figures was now carrying a bloodied arm belonging to the prisoner. The man kept screaming and bleeding until the larger creature grabbed him by the head and lifted him in the hair. The creature was no longer levitating and two serpents appeared one of each side of his shoulder. The alien roared in some language and the serpents hissed, bearing their sharp fangs and then tearing the prisoner to bits. All that was left was his head and neck until the alien crushed it with his hand. The serpents slid back in the creatures shoulders, only showing the top of their head and eyes. For some stupid reason, I tried free myself from the shackles. The creature turned to me. I couldn't see his face because the lights dimmed out and it slowly got darker by the minute. Its bright pure white eyes shun bright and the serpents crawled out once more and lunged at me, then I saw a bright light. It changed over to a different dream. I was now running for my life with my friends and some soldiers. I didn't know what was chasing us but they were making us fully aware that they were still chasing us by making rapid clicking noises like dolphins and hissing. I kept looking to my sides to see people being taken and killed by these creatures, soldier by soldier. We eventually stopped and we were cornered thanks to a damn cliff wall. The creatures surrounded us, sticking to the shadows. For some reason I was the only person there. I didn't know where everyone was, but I could hear them talking to me. "USE THE FLARE," I heard them yell. The flare? I didn't have a flare...that was...until I looked to my right to see a flare by my foot. I picked it up and lit it. The creatures were partially revealed and they definitely didn't like it. They hiss and snarled, spraying acid on the ground in front of me. The floor itself began to burn up from the acid and I knew that this 'flare' was no good to me. I watched myself stand there until one of the creatures lunged out at me, bearing their large canine fangs and claws; and then the bright light shun once more. I woke up to see chimp's on my chest staring at me. I'm no monkey expert but my guess tells me that he was hungry. He clutched his stomach with his hand and gave me the same face he gave me when I found him on the beach, lying their helplessly with cuts and bruises all over his body. The hangar was pretty empty and it didn't have food anywhere. I looked over to see my friends all sitting there with their growling stomachs including Marcus, who fully recovered. Hell even my stomach was groaning; but the thing I couldn't get out of my mind was the dream I had. It felt so......real. Like I was witnessing it the entire time........ And those aliens......They could be the reason why we're all here. But those other creatures chasing us; what were they? And why were people telling me to use the flare? I looked over to see the pilot talking to someone over a small radio. "Black tower this is hangar 37, we'll be landing in T minus 10 minutes over." I couldn't hear what the other end was saying besides static. "Yes we have recovered 3 male and 2 female survivors. One of the males has a pet Mesopithecus ma'am........you want to speak to them?........very well ma'am......yes ma'am.......we will land shortly." The sun shun bright through the windows, brightening up the hangar by a tad. I decided to look out to see where we were landing. It was truly a remarkable sight. A giant, primitive city built on a large mountain. It was filled with life, humans and tamed animals. The entire city was protected by large walls and had only 1 large entrance that remains shut. It was guarded by a secondary wall with another large gate. The city continued all the way up to the very top of the mountain. At the top was a large black tower standing behind a large cathedral. 'This must be the citadel.' The quetzal flew us down near the top of the mountain and landed. The red light near the door turned off and the green light turned on when the hangar door swung open. More people strolled in to gather all the resources, medic beds and equipment. We all sat up and exited the hangar awkwardly and waited. The hangar was cold so it was nice for a change to feel the heat on my skin again. Compared to most other people in the city, we looked like homeless people, with tattered clothes covered in blood. An older woman and 3 soldiers approached us. They didn't seem friendly nor did they seem aggressive. They approach us with their straight faces and the woman began talking to us with her strong voice. "I need to speak to you 5 immediately." We didn't argue and so we followed her towards the tower. The bottom floor was a reception room. She took us around the corner and into a medium sized room with food and a large table. The other 4 had already dug into the feast, enjoying the nice, fresh food. I stepped forward but the woman placed her hand on my shoulder. "I need to ask some questions about the 5 of you and the Merchants Tribe." She said. I gulped and felt a bit nervous. They might think we we're the ones who killed them. She sat me down at the table and began quizzing me. "Who are you?" "Chris Shaw" "Who are your friends?" "Ajay, Rose, Alice and Marcus." As I said their names, they quietly looked up at me while they were eating, unfortunately for them, Chimp was stealing their food. "So you all came together?" "Not in the same area but yes we did." "What happened to the merchant’s tribe? I already know about the Vanquishers but I want to know what happened to the rest of them." I gulped when she asked the question. My mind dozed off and I began remembering what happened...all the blood...all the death... "Mr Shaw?" "Uh, Yes?" "What happened with the Merchants Tribe?" I decided to tell her instead of dozing off and picturing it all in my head. I told her how they were killed by the large Balaur pack and how we escaped with the help of the Megalosaurus. Then I told her the situation we had with the velociraptors and the trouble of reaching the hangar. She seemed more intrigued with me and my knowledge of the dinosaurs. "You were a palaeontologist before you arrived here weren't you?" "Yes ma'am." One of the men behind her was flicking through a small book and whispered something in her ear then stepped back. "I'm sorry but velociraptor and Balaur weren't on the list." "I'm sorry?" "We have a list to keep track of all the creatures on the island. Both velociraptor and Balaur weren't on it. Although we know about the black raptors, they've been killing most things and giving themselves a reputation. We just call them black raptors. But don't worry; there are always two new creatures when a survivor arrives. Although since there's five of you, there must be 10 new species...you know....since you're a palaeontologist, you can write the new dossiers, since our previous dossier writer disappeared." "Where did he go?" "We went to explore the ocean, never returned." "Oh, well that's....sad" "Yeah. I guess that you're aware than none of the creatures on this island are the same species like on earth." "I gathered that." "Good. I could register you in as a dossier writer but I guess that would have to wait, since Enrolment day is on today. You must attend, all new bloods must attend." "Understood." "Excellent," she stood up while the 3 men left. "You get some food and wear these new clothes and we'll see you outside, don't forget to see the parade." She handed us a new pair of clothes and I began to eat some of the food my friends left over. "Hold on a second. I have a few questions too." I demanded. They paused and then sat back down on their seats. "Alright Mr Shaw, ask away." She said smiling. "Where are we?" "This is the Ark. An island inhabited by us. We cannot contact the outside world not do we know where we are on Earth. We don't have the technology to go into space to look where we are. We even tried flying and using boats to leave the island. They both failed." "How can you be certain?" She checked out the photos of the boat wreckage. "This was our latest expedition, project New World." I looked at the photos. The photos were taken on a beach that was covered in bodies and boat wreckage. "What are these implants for them?" "Right now we don't know. But we know what the colours stand for." "Go on then." "Well red is your health bar, yellow means you're afraid, blue means you're cold, orange means you're hot, green means you're sick or poisoned, purple means you're wounded. When your implant becomes fully purple, it will turn black, which means you're dead. Pink means you're lying and blue means you're telling the truth." "What happens when you try and take it out?" "You die" "Fair enough. Why are there dinosaurs on this island?" "We do not know. Any more questions?" "No and thank you." "Good," she smiled. "Now get changed, we will wait for you outside." We did what we were told and went into our separate, private corners in the room and got changed. Then we all went back outside to meet up with the woman. The other soldiers must've left because it was just her. Chimp climbed up my arm and sat himself back onto my shoulder. The woman smiled at us and pushed her long brown hair aside and escorted us down the mountain. "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Tara," she laughed. "I'm one of the many security chiefs in the Citadel." She showed us her badge and kept moving. "That cathedral there is where most of the survivors worship to the creators of the ark. They believe that if they pray, they can live another day. It's also where the elders live. The elders are our leaders. They're like 12 popes in the cathedral, giving everyone else orders and trying to make everything work." The cathedral was really beautiful, but Tara didn't take us to sight see, so we kept moving. We continued to pass many villagers and herbivorous dinosaurs carrying luggage around. It was very rare to see a carnivorous animal walking about. If there were, they were usually small. We walked past the large markets and stopped by a large colosseum and a large timer which were near the front gates. The timer was a large Sign that had seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, years. So far it was 5 years, 1 month, 3 weeks, 6 days, 8 hours and 12 seconds. "What's the timer for?" Ajay asked. "That tells us the last time our walls have fallen and when we were under attack. When it happens, the time resets back to zero, then it starts all over again." Tara said sadly "So the last time you were under attacked was 5 years ago?" Rose questioned. "Why yes," Tara smiled. "Sure we were attacked by some giganotosaurs but 5 years is our current record." A loud Horn blew throughout the entire city and everyone grew silent. "Oh my god it's starting! Enrolment day always gets me excited," Tara said, nearly jumping out of her own shoes. A crowd began to start near the front gates and they watched excitedly as the large gates opened. It was like a large parade. Different animals, soldiers, workers and leaders with decorative outfits and saddles marched like this was one giant parade. This reminded me of the ANZAC parades back in Australia, although there were vehicles in the parades, not dinosaurs. Each group all had one unique dinosaur that carried a large banner showing a symbol of the animals head and two creatures besides it, similar to the merchant’s symbol. The banners must represent which tribe they were. The tribe leaders were on the backs of the creatures carrying the banners. The smaller tribes were the ones in front while the larger and more spectacular tribes were the last ones. As more marched in, I could see why everyone was excited; it was awesome watching these warriors march into the gates. "Today is Enrolment day," Tara began explaining why all the tribes had gathered together. "Enrolment day happens every 2 months and all the tribes come together at The Citadel to recruit new members for their tribes. The contestants test their abilities to prove themselves as worthy tribe members. In the end, the tribes have an auction over the contestants they want." "Seems legit," Ajay chuckled. "Not always. If two tribes were having a fight before, it can be pretty messy. The two large tribes usually argue all the time and always have wars." The chanting and screaming of excitement from the crowd began to get louder, making it harder for anyone to hear anyone talking. The March was almost over and now the largest tribes were entering the city. The second last one was very menacing. They colours were black and white and the creature holding their banner was a large short faced bear covered in armour. On each side of the bear were two dire wolves. The banner itself was the head of a bear and two wolves on each side. "Those are the Vanquishers," Tara snorted. "Those are the monsters that destroyed the Merchants tribe base. If I were you, I would avoid them at all cost. The next tribe is the one you'd want to get accepted in." I glanced over to look at the leader of the Vanquishers. The strong male hid himself under his dark black, metal armour that had fur underneath for warmth. He took off his helmet to show his half scarred face. The man had scars on one half of his face and had white eyes. He had a long bear with dark black hair. He even looked at me with his Soulless eyes. I looked away to around to see the quiet crowd. They too must've been afraid. But sure enough, Tara was right. After the Vanquisher's soldiers and carnivorous creatures have past, the crowd began to cheer and yell in excitement when the last tribe entered. Their colouring was green and yellow and their banner was a tyrannosaurus and two triceratops. The T-Rex holding the banner also had a small hut on its back. In the hut, there were at least 3 people in it, all lying on the bed until they eventually came out and showed themselves. The crowd cheered, as if they were huge celebrities. They were waving and saying hello to everyone. There were two males and one blonde female. "That's the Tribe of Tyrants," Tara said with a beaming smile. "That's the tribe you want to be accepted in. The older man then boomed with his loud voice. "All contestants waiting for the trials please follow us to the colosseum." "That's you guys," Tara yelled above the loud crowd. "Just complete the simple tasks and you'll be fine, now go." We rushed over along with countless other contestants. Tara was now no longer in sight. I began to panic about what we have to do in these trials as I walked past the entrance of the colosseum. The colosseum was huge! It housed all of the tribe's soldiers and creatures, and also holds thousands of audience members and a hundred or so contestants. Soldiers from different tribes came down to the contestants and put us all in long, spacious lines. I stood a metre and a half away from the people next to me and a metre and a half in away from the people behind me. I was standing in the very front line with Ajay, Rose, Alice and Marcus. Chimp sat on my shoulder; honestly I think that's the only place he wants to be right now, since he's surrounded by strangers and predators sitting on the sidelines, waiting for food. A man stood at the front facing us all on a podium. He wore an armoured uniform and bared the Tribe of Tyrants colouring and emblem. He was about my height and was very muscular for his age. He scratched his short grey beard and began giving orders. "Listen up dumb*sses!" He boomed. "Welcome to the Colosseum of Kings! I am Alastair Neon, the Chief Commander of the Tribe of Tyrants; and you're all on Trial!" Ajay couldn't help himself and let out a small chuckle. "What's so funny boy?!" Alastair jumped off the Podium and stepped in front of Ajay. "Oh nothing......Alice neon!" He began to laugh. Although his laughter was soon drawn to a close. The chief commander had grabbed him by the neck and lifted him in the air. "You think someone's name is funny boy?! If I were you, I would shut your damn f*cking mouth! This is your life on the line. There are two things that happen on this island. People die; people survive! With your attitude, I highly doubt you'll survive one day out in the island." By the time he's finished, Ajay was on his last breath. He dropped him on the floor and watched him gasp for breath. He gritted his teeth with a cocky smile and walked off, but stopped as Ajay grabbed his cape. He stood up and pulled the Chief closer to him, staring at him with a p*ssed face. "Survive one day?" He questioned. "Please. You see this scar? These were from the poisonous black raptors everyone talks about. And yes, I did survive. Because I know what's out there. So don't come to me and say that I'm not a true survivor!" He yelled, showing his scar from when the alpha raptor scratched him with his Spurs. The whole colosseum went quiet, waiting to see what Alastair will say next; even the leaders from the tribe of tyrants sat up to see the drama. I seriously thought Ajay was going to be murdered on the spot. I was wrong, horribly wrong. Instead of killing him where he stands, the commander look at him with respect. "Humph, if you were a true survivor, you wouldn't have that scar in the first place." He snorted and stormed back to the podium. I could see all the different tribe leaders’ smile, as if this was a whole amusing show. I could even see the Tyrant leaders have a couple laughs. I looked over to see Ajay, standing in his place like a hero. Damn he's one cocky son of a b*tch. "Moving on!" Alastair boomed again "There are 120 of you contestants. That's not a lot to be honest. If I was a weak individual like all of you, it would bring tears to my eyes. But I'm not. I'm stronger than all of you id*ots combined! You're in groups of 12. Meaning that there are 10 groups. Those are your teams." We glanced around to have a look at our team members. They were all different. Different looks, different genders, different sizes, different strengths, different weaknesses. "The first trial is a more of a fun activity. Capture the flag. This may be a fun activity that you all played when you were kids, but this is a strategy game. You are to collect every other team’s flag and take them back to your base. To survive, you use these wooden weapons to fight people that aren't on your team. You will fight them until you or your victim falls to the ground, is crippled or cannot handle it anymore. Once you've lost a battle, you're out of the game. I've given you all teams’ colours. Row 1, you are red. Row 2 is blue 3 is green, 4 is yellow, 5 is purple, 6 is orange, 7 is pink, 8 is brown, 9 is grey and 10 is black. Your weapons, colours and pieces of Armour are behind you." He pointed behind us, showing us a group of people under a large tarp, each worker having their own small workshop with different sized pieces of scrappy metal armour and simple coloured bibs. Next to the tarp was a large weapon rack, containing blunt wooden weapons. With all the decorative armoured saddles and unique armours for different ranks in the tribes, you think that they'd be more organised. We were all in a line to collect out outfits and weapons. The workers would ask which team we're in and they would slide the armour underneath the coloured big and strap the contestants in. Then the contestants will walk over to a weapon rack to choose what weapon they want. It wasn't really hard to anticipate what they would choose. The bigger people would choose the large; two handed heavy weapons while the smaller and scrawny people would chose the small weapons like the daggers. My friends were behind me and were asking simple questions like 'what weapon are you going to choose' and 'what's our strategy?' Honestly I didn't care right now. I just wanted to get this over and done with so we can get elected into a tribe. It was my turn to collect my armour and Bib. "What team dear?" The old woman was looking at my size to check what size armour I need. "Uh red team ma'am". I said. She sat me down on a stool and began looking at different armours on the table while others were being acquainted for with the other workers. She wore simple cloth clothing and had a small pin on her shirt saying 'world’s best mummy'. "You're a mother are you?" I asked. She paused and bared a small smile on her face. "I was," she said. "I had the sweetest son in my entire district." She continued telling her story of her son as she fitted me with different sized pieces of armour. Every time she spoke, she had to go back and get a new Chest Piece because the previous one was either too big or too small. "Mikey longbridge was his name," she continued. "He always helped everyone and always had the biggest smile. God that boy made my life so much better." "You must be pretty lucky to have such a great son." I smiled. "Hmm," she grinned. "If only he was still here." Her smiled faded. I could tell that I struck a nerve. "Oh, I'm so sorry I didn't kn-" "Oh no it's fine," she smiled. "He just turned 22 when it happened. Coincidentally it was Enrolment Day on that same day He wanted to prove to both me and his father that one day, he will be the greatest Chief commander in the Tribe of Tyrants....so he signed up for the trials." "Did he?" "I bet he would've," she sighed "He had so much potential. But all of that backfired because of a simple flaw." "A flaw?" "Yes, a flaw. You see that gate?" She pointed at the gate that was next to the podium. "Behind that gate is the battleground that you'll be competing in. It's walled off so animals cannot creep in and kill someone. When he marched in with everyone else....he never came out." "Oh, I'm sorry." "When the game was over, I requested guards to look for him." "Did they find him?" "They did find him, but they didn't find what I was looking for. He was torn to pieces by a Kaprosuchus. They said that it creeped through the sewerage tunnels that allows water to flow through the battleground and broke the tunnel entrances. But they fixed it so it wouldn't happen again. He would've been 34 this year." "To be honest. But that's my age," I said smiling, trying to get the sad memories out of her head. "Well isn't that a coincidence," she smiled. "Here, I want you to wear his Armour. It may be a bit tight but I'm sure I can loosen it for you." She reached her hand into a draw under the table and pulled out a dusty chest piece with claw marks diagonally across the chest and a helmet with scratch marks on top. The leggings were probably the only good looking piece of the set. Besides the casual dents and a missing knee cap piece. I looked at it like I had just been given an early Christmas present. We tested it and it even fitted me, it just needed to be loosening around the waist and shoulders. "I will wear this in honour of you and your son," I said. Tears slowly trickled down her eyes. "You're just like him," she sniffed. "I'll cheer for you in the audience." "Can you do me a favour and look after my monkey, Chimp? I don't want him getting hurt in there once the battle starts." I handed over Chimp to her and she smiled. "Cute monkey you have here. I'll take good care of him and I'll return him to you when it's all over." She slipped on my red bib on top and I moved on to choosing my weapon of choice. I must have been under the tarp long enough for the others to best me because they were standing outside with their weapons, waiting for me to choose a weapon. Alice was holding a bow with blunt wooden arrows, Rose was wielding two daggers, Ajay had the two war axes and Marcus was wielding a large cleaver and was resting it on his shoulder. I stared at the rack of blunt wooden weapons. I know that they're doing this to make sure nobody dies but come one, this makes you sit down and makes you ask yourself why the f*ck you're doing this. You might as well tag your enemies. Like what's the point in some of these weapons? All of the weapons that have a sharp edge are now useless. The only good ones are the hammers, knuckle busters and possibly the bows and crossbows. I decided to ignore my judgements and grabbed la glaive. It may be wooden, but it's still sharp enough to stab people. I was given the weapon holster and I moved on until I ran into a larger person. I wouldn't even call him a person, more like a fr*akin giant. He was very bulky, had dark eyes and long Black hair. He was from the black team. He looked like he could pick me up by my head and carry me around with one of his large hands. "Watch where you're going kid. You don't want to get hurt do you?" He said harshly. He stormed of wielding his large mace. As he stormed off, I could see the Vanquishers leader starting at us intently. He smiled evilly and looked away to talk to one of tribesmen. I walked back to my team and Alastair already starting giving out new orders. "Alright numb nuts! I can see all of you are geared up for war! Behind this gate beside me is your battleground. You must use the environment to your advantage to survive. Like I said before, you must collect every other team’s flag AND still have your flag at your base. One person can only carry one flag at a time. If you are beaten, crippled or if you fall over during combat, you die! The people who die must leave the battlefield. You will not get a second chance; do I make myself CLEAR?!" "Sir Yes sir!" we roared "Good! When the bell rings, that's the battle starts. When a team has all of the flags in their possession, the bell will ring again, meaning that the battle is over! Now get in there and hope to god the Tribe leaders notice you!" The large gates creaked open and we all ran into the battlefield and moves to our stations. Our 'base' was a small hut with a wooden pole that has 10 hooks; one of the hooks is holding our flag. I guess that once you steal a flag, you place it on this pole. We didn't know where the other bases were nor did we even know our own location. We were just directed to our base thanks to some workers with maps. Me, my friends and the rest of the team waited with our weapons drawn, waiting for the sound of the bell ringing. The area was silent. The wind blew through the trees...then the bell rang...and the sound of men and women screaming into battle broke the silence. Let me know if I should extend on this chapter. I posted this on word and its 25 pages long and is currently the longest chapter I’ve written. Like I said before, don’t forget to check out my dossier page. The next dossier is Daeodon. When that’s done, make sure to vote for the next creature! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DahDerpasaur Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I think that's a good place to end the chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted April 7, 2016 Author Share Posted April 7, 2016 1 minute ago, DahDerpasaur said: I think that's a good place to end the chapter. ok cool. Chapter stays how it is then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilinDeblanc Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 I'm currently writing a book that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world with basically superhumans that got infected with radiation which warped their minds to attack people of their own kind. You inspired me to start writing a ARK story of my own, I want to make it good, and tips? Also, you should really get an editor and maybe publish it once your finished, it would be the next Harry Potter... lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 5 hours ago, PhilinDeblanc said: I'm currently writing a book that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world with basically superhumans that got infected with radiation which warped their minds to attack people of their own kind. You inspired me to start writing a ARK story of my own, I want to make it good, and tips? Also, you should really get an editor and maybe publish it once your finished, it would be the next Harry Potter... lol First of all, thank you so much for reading my fan fic and for complimenting! Really means a lot, especially when you said that you wanted to right a fan fic. As for your post apocalyptic story, I can't wait to read it! It seems pretty interesting. For tips on your fan fic, I would first start of with a pretty simple plot. But that might take time, so be prepared. Once you have your simple plot. That's going to be your story, or in other words, it's the foundation to building your epic base. Once that is done, then you can start building on to it, such as characters and character development, who are they? What do they do? How are they special? Etc. Then you need an appropriate beginning. For an Ark fanfic. I suggest starting off with a bang, leaving the readers having heaps of questions like where they are, why are there dinosaurs etc. but don't make it too long. People will lose interest if there questions aren't answered. either A, answer them, or B, give hints or tease them. Despite it being a fantasy surival genre, you still gotta have it logical. Don't make the character do something that can be solved easily, unless that's your whole plan. Also, don't be what I call a 'lawn mower' and just keep moving forward and hoping that you know what you're doing. Always look ahead into the story. Maybe you want to add something. If that's so, either add it or remember it. Drawing usually helps me, but everyone is different. Last but not least, the ending. Make sure that the story starts with a bang and ends with a bang. You don't want to extinguish it. You want to make the ending memorable. Like an epic battle or a giant celebration. But if you're only intending to do one book, then make sure you don't make it too epic. The story is coming to a close, if you want more, then it's best to start thinking of a sequel before you end your first book. simple steps 1. concepts and ideas 2. Simple plot 3. Characters/character development 4. Build on plot 5. Look into the future before you 'mow the lawn' 6. Think of possible sequel ideas before you end it 7. Good ending 8. Polishing story. these ideas could also help you with your apocalyptic story. since the fan fic is about ark, you might want to elaborate more own these certain things 1. Lore 2. Dinosaurs 3. Obelisks 4. Bosses and possible aliens 5. How did they get here 6. How will they get out? Is it possible to get out? If you want more tips on more detailed things, let me know I hope this helped and I wish you good luck on your story's. Also, I doubt my story can get published for certain reasons. 1. Copyright (I could get sued for publishing it. 2. I'm only 14 3. A lot of people might not like it and it will be no point. Anyways. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ennylia Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 I really enjoyed reading those 4 chapters. Very nice work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 26 minutes ago, Ennylia said: I really enjoyed reading those 4 chapters. Very nice work! Thanks! I'm currently in the works of writing chapter 5. I think things should be a bit quicker with my writing (hopefully) so I hope it will be finished in the next couple of weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ennylia Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 That would be great! I'm looking forward to chapter 5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpicardi1 Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 To add, sequels can be harder then the original story. In my current sequel, Return to Ark, The Second Adventure, four of us have just survived a trip into the Swamp Cave to retrieve the Artifact of the Immune. I based the chapter on the information that has been posted to the Wiki. I will be adding more as I develop the story. We still have to do the other caves and find the missing warriors from their visit 500 years ago. Lots of possibilities where the story can go should we find them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZakkBDB Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 15 hours ago, PhilinDeblanc said: I'm currently writing a book that takes place in a post-apocalyptic world with basically superhumans that got infected with radiation which warped their minds to attack people of their own kind. You inspired me to start writing a ARK story of my own, I want to make it good, and tips? Also, you should really get an editor and maybe publish it once your finished, it would be the next Harry Potter... lol i want a copy of ur book! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZakkBDB Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 @Kaprodonychus Pretty dam good writing for a youngster mate , props to you brotha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilinDeblanc Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 32 minutes ago, ZakkBDB said: i want a copy of ur book! Thanks, I might write it on another thread on ARK forums, it might be a bit off topic though also 10 hours ago, Kaprodonychus said: First of all, thank you so much for reading my fan fic and for complimenting! Really means a lot, especially when you said that you wanted to right a fan fic. As for your post apocalyptic story, I can't wait to read it! It seems pretty interesting. For tips on your fan fic, I would first start of with a pretty simple plot. But that might take time, so be prepared. Once you have your simple plot. That's going to be your story, or in other words, it's the foundation to building your epic base. Once that is done, then you can start building on to it, such as characters and character development, who are they? What do they do? How are they special? Etc. Then you need an appropriate beginning. For an Ark fanfic. I suggest starting off with a bang, leaving the readers having heaps of questions like where they are, why are there dinosaurs etc. but don't make it too long. People will lose interest if there questions aren't answered. either A, answer them, or B, give hints or tease them. Despite it being a fantasy surival genre, you still gotta have it logical. Don't make the character do something that can be solved easily, unless that's your whole plan. Also, don't be what I call a 'lawn mower' and just keep moving forward and hoping that you know what you're doing. Always look ahead into the story. Maybe you want to add something. If that's so, either add it or remember it. Drawing usually helps me, but everyone is different. Last but not least, the ending. Make sure that the story starts with a bang and ends with a bang. You don't want to extinguish it. You want to make the ending memorable. Like an epic battle or a giant celebration. But if you're only intending to do one book, then make sure you don't make it too epic. The story is coming to a close, if you want more, then it's best to start thinking of a sequel before you end your first book. simple steps 1. concepts and ideas 2. Simple plot 3. Characters/character development 4. Build on plot 5. Look into the future before you 'mow the lawn' 6. Think of possible sequel ideas before you end it 7. Good ending 8. Polishing story. these ideas could also help you with your apocalyptic story. since the fan fic is about ark, you might want to elaborate more own these certain things 1. Lore 2. Dinosaurs 3. Obelisks 4. Bosses and possible aliens 5. How did they get here 6. How will they get out? Is it possible to get out? If you want more tips on more detailed things, let me know I hope this helped and I wish you good luck on your story's. Also, I doubt my story can get published for certain reasons. 1. Copyright (I could get sued for publishing it. 2. I'm only 14 3. A lot of people might not like it and it will be no point. Anyways. Good luck! first of all THANKS FOR ALL THE TIPS I didn't expect you to write THAT much! Also just because your 14 doesn't mean you can't publish a book, but I can see that it might count as copyright infringment. Anyway, good luck! I can't wait for chapter 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaprodonychus Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 On 11/04/2016 at 9:04 AM, PhilinDeblanc said: Thanks, I might write it on another thread on ARK forums, it might be a bit off topic though also first of all THANKS FOR ALL THE TIPS I didn't expect you to write THAT much! Also just because your 14 doesn't mean you can't publish a book, but I can see that it might count as copyright infringment. Anyway, good luck! I can't wait for chapter 5 Yeah, I didn't really know how much I wrote until I finished but yes chapter 5 is going along smoothly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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