Was able to get play anywhere crossplay working and hosting dedicated session on PC.
Step1: Download ARK and all DLC from MS Store while logged in as XBOX Gold profile that had purchased game.
Step 2: Made sure family member accounts were added and could sign in on Win 10 PC that ARK was installed on (All Settings, accounts, family & other people)
Step 3: Made sure to login family member on XBOX and opted out of "Gold" since share live services on console.
Step 4: Added family member as friend and accepted from both PC and XBOX
Step 5: Started ARK on Win 10 PC and logged in as Silver family member
Step 6: On Win 10 session - Setup dedicated server, enabled crossplay
Step 7: On Win 10 logged into XBOX app and started party with my gold account and invited to game once server admin panel was up with game loaded.
Step 8: On XBOX gold account accepted invite and logged into server.
I still need to browse for the server from my XBOX client, but I know that I was unable to see the invites or join on earlier attempts because I had failed to actually login with the other "silver account on XBOX and had only logged in on WIN 10. Will update if browse for server works next.
**UPDATE** Can join server from WIN 10 only through invite, cannot browse from XBOX and see server created on WIN 10 on any server category. Hopefully fixed soon.