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chris282

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Everything posted by chris282

  1. It's got a certain... Shawshank quality.
  2. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] I have been ignoring my own sage advice re stockpiling, and my swamp stash got found. Classic criminal error, a combination of greed and sloppy execution. They call me Chris One Mana now, and snigger into their drinks. A new tribe moved into prime beaver territory. Let the record show that I attempted diplomacy and saw an arrow to the helmet for my troubles. Responded with terminal force, will continue to monitor situation.
  3. According to my back-of-a-barmat calculations, 3195 metal ingots and 666 cementing paste gives you a 3x3 box with full internal ceilings and walls - Satan's Rubix Cube.
  4. Obligatory pun suggestions: Brent Spino, Reece Witherspine. Maybe some sort of near-anagram of "cyan" - Candy/Nancy/Clancy?
  5. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] While it's nice to have two manas (which, as I may have mentioned, I do) I haven't yet found the position within my tightly regimented stealth operation that would be best filled by a massive glowing dragon. A massive amount of metal, on the other hand, is instantly useful. Since its previous owners didn't appear to be using it on account of being locked in cages, and their front door apparently having been blown in by some sort of remotely triggered explosive device, I felt it prudent to take it into my personal custody. It's debatable whether the time spent moving a massive amount of metal over a mountain by megatherium might have been more productively spent in actually mining the stuff, but I leave that sort of thing to the bean counters. In other news, I have a shiny new safehouse and a rocket launcher now*. *The stealthiest of all weapons.
  6. The deathfight was arranged by the grandmother of one Eric Twinge (voiced by Tim Brooke-Taylor of The Goodies, known as Eric Wimp in the original "Nutty" comic - later "Dandy & Nutty") on the understanding that it would be attended by the Bahraini Ambassador to the United States who, you'll of course be aware, is Hoda Nono. Unfortunately the ambassador was forced to cancel due to important diplomatic business, so the council backed out. Or if you prefer, BANANAMAN NANA MANA V MANA MANO A MANO A NO NO, NO NONO. I... think I need to lie down.
  7. Organisers of a "Managarmr Death Fight" expressed their disappointment today as their plans failed to receive local council approval. MANA V MANA MANO A MANO A NO NO.
  8. So they call me Chris Two Manas now, on account of how I've got two Managarmrs. I've got this sticker on one, you'll like this, it says "My other Managarmr is also a Managarmr!" It's funny, and accurate, yeah? Because of my two Manas. This? Oh, that's just my Mastercraft crossbow. Do you have a Mastercraft crossbow? You have to get one - they're so good. Turns out crime pays quite handsomely. Did I mention my two Manas?
  9. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] I heard the explosions, but I didn't think much about it. Sometimes there are explosions. Something to do with teleports, maybe? It's all a tech level above my pay grade. I'd taken some losses over the weekend, but I'd just tamed up a megatherium after a lucky saddle drop and I was decently positioned for resources, so I figured I'd turn things around pretty swiftly. I was marvelling at the fibre collecting prowess of the big lumbering beast as I returned home, which is when I realised that the explosions had been the sounds of another safehouse being blown up. The megatherium was later murdered by a pair of cowardly therizins. Currently laying low with an iguanadon and a sabertooth while I restock on bullets and essential supplies.
  10. WESTWORLD is every Narcissists and Sociopaths wet dream. People that can't live out their degenerate fantasies IRL can in WESTWORLD. Book your ticket today!
  11. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] Cool, wet grass. Cool wet grass. Everything is temporary. We who choose to make our homes on the shifting sands of war must learn to adapt when our castles fall. Loss is an opportunity to build. I didn't want my undersea vaults anyway. Cool, wet grass. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
  12. Hey, there might be a certain raw sensuality in my posts, but I think this is the plot of a popular Japanese animated fetish movie.
  13. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] The war machine’s been rumbling on quietly this week as Manolo and I firm up our position in the north. The argy has been an absolute godsend, laying waste to direwolves and daedrons with merciless abandon. Godammit Manolo, don’t make me start to care about you. Troy the feeble beaver drowned, which came as a surprise to both of us. RIP Troy, you died doing what you loved – helplessly struggling for air in the ink black depths of a frozen lake. He’s since been replaced with an upgraded model and I’ve added an anky to the gang, which I’d been hoping to do for a while. The old mountain safehouse got wiped to ground level. It’s been out of play for a while but it’s a concerning display of casual power in a generally backwoods neighbourhood.
  14. Can't speak for the megatribe servers, but I'm having an absolute blast soloing on Small Tribes. The advice that turned it around for me was an old post where someone suggested spending time living without a base. It gets you out of the habit of stockpiling, forces you to concentrate on what you actually need to survive, and keeps you mobile. It's a pvp game where you start out massively outgunned, for sure, but it's not impossible to develop methods and tactics to counter that. If it's good enough for the Viet Cong, it's good enough for me, as my old granny used to say.
  15. Oh, sorry. It looks like you'll be able to pm and react once you get out of the Early Birds group.
  16. Hi Cythraul - I'm by no means an expert, and what little I do know I've learnt through a lot of mistakes, but I'd be happy to talk survival tips if you're interested. Feel free to drop me a pm.
  17. Above and beyond the call of duty, consider my fie thoroughly retracted. I shall raise my nightly glass of cod liver oil and cooking sherry in your honour. Watch out for this fella, there's something about him I just don't trust.
  18. Now look here, I may just be a crazy old coot with one foot in the grave and the other in a jar on my fireplace, and I know that the manners and fashions of the day ebb and flow like the contents of my chamber pot, but in my day you didn't post a comment about baby monkeys without a screenshot of baby monkeys. Fie and for shame, sir.
  19. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] Moving north was a struggle, but it's starting to pay dividends. I've got myself a pair of decent argies, Manolo and Dave, and a feeble beaver named Troy*. Troy regrettably fell quite hard down a long flight of stairs during a totally routine tame, which explains the piercing, dart-like lacerations to his face. Despite my newfound mastery over sea and sky I spent much of this evening holed up in a bombed out metal shack making explosives (on an unrelated note, don't the NSA do a wonderful job?). The war machine rolls on. * Castoroides Troy, like Castor Troy, from the Movie 'Face Off', get it? CASTOR-oides Troy! Do you get it?
  20. I've been binge watching the Neebs channel so it might just be on my mind, but I'm totally reading today's 'Wondermark' in the voices of Simon, Daraleous and Neebs.
  21. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] Things have been working out well at Safehouse 3, and with a decent stash of cryopods under my belt I decided to upgrade my raptor to an argie. I've spent quite enough time chasing birds around like Grandpa Simpson, so this time I did my homework and found this nifty little trap. Flying in the face of my own sage advice I returned to the mountain where I knew there were plenty of argies. I found a good one, level 110. After a couple of false starts I got it locked down. Blew away some low level birds for prime meat and settled in for a long tame. At around about 95% I thought, 'Well, that's pretty much done. I'll just grab a coffee and when I get back I can take her out for a spin.' Of course it was killed. Of course it was. Then on the way home someone dropped a giga on my head.
  22. Dinos level up while in the pod, so it's a timesaver there too. Yeah, the gamma level changes the brightness so you can see in nighttime - or bright sunshine. Either Tab and type "gamma 4" (night) / "gamma 2.2" (regular) or you can set it as a hotkey option.
  23. PS. Pro tip: gamma 4 PPS. One more pearl of wisdom, while I think of it. Don't get too hung up on tech that you don't absolutely need for survival or fighting. The real advantage of levelling up is being able to survive with less. Go back to basics, see what you can live without. In the immortal words of William Gibson's Johnny Mnemonic, "If they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude." And finally, hiding in your base is a perfectly acceptable military strategy. I've spent a fun twenty minutes taking potshots at a tiny man in pants who was quite frustrated that I wouldn't come down and fight him with a club like a man. Final edit. With that said, a club is an absolute must in the arsenal. These zippy little guys want to get up close and personal before you can aim, but often can't take a punch.
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