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chris282 last won the day on September 14 2019

chris282 had the most liked content!

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  1. Hi BBB. I've only ever played Ark as a survivalist pvp game, and I'm looking to leave the war for a bit and chill out in pve. I've dropped you a request on Steam, Chris.2802.
  2. It's got a certain... Shawshank quality.
  3. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] I have been ignoring my own sage advice re stockpiling, and my swamp stash got found. Classic criminal error, a combination of greed and sloppy execution. They call me Chris One Mana now, and snigger into their drinks. A new tribe moved into prime beaver territory. Let the record show that I attempted diplomacy and saw an arrow to the helmet for my troubles. Responded with terminal force, will continue to monitor situation.
  4. Obligatory pun suggestions: Brent Spino, Reece Witherspine. Maybe some sort of near-anagram of "cyan" - Candy/Nancy/Clancy?
  5. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] While it's nice to have two manas (which, as I may have mentioned, I do) I haven't yet found the position within my tightly regimented stealth operation that would be best filled by a massive glowing dragon. A massive amount of metal, on the other hand, is instantly useful. Since its previous owners didn't appear to be using it on account of being locked in cages, and their front door apparently having been blown in by some sort of remotely triggered explosive device, I felt it prudent to take it into my personal custody. It's debatable whether the time spent moving a massive amount of metal over a mountain by megatherium might have been more productively spent in actually mining the stuff, but I leave that sort of thing to the bean counters. In other news, I have a shiny new safehouse and a rocket launcher now*. *The stealthiest of all weapons.
  6. The deathfight was arranged by the grandmother of one Eric Twinge (voiced by Tim Brooke-Taylor of The Goodies, known as Eric Wimp in the original "Nutty" comic - later "Dandy & Nutty") on the understanding that it would be attended by the Bahraini Ambassador to the United States who, you'll of course be aware, is Hoda Nono. Unfortunately the ambassador was forced to cancel due to important diplomatic business, so the council backed out. Or if you prefer, BANANAMAN NANA MANA V MANA MANO A MANO A NO NO, NO NONO. I... think I need to lie down.
  7. Organisers of a "Managarmr Death Fight" expressed their disappointment today as their plans failed to receive local council approval. MANA V MANA MANO A MANO A NO NO.
  8. So they call me Chris Two Manas now, on account of how I've got two Managarmrs. I've got this sticker on one, you'll like this, it says "My other Managarmr is also a Managarmr!" It's funny, and accurate, yeah? Because of my two Manas. This? Oh, that's just my Mastercraft crossbow. Do you have a Mastercraft crossbow? You have to get one - they're so good. Turns out crime pays quite handsomely. Did I mention my two Manas?
  9. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] I heard the explosions, but I didn't think much about it. Sometimes there are explosions. Something to do with teleports, maybe? It's all a tech level above my pay grade. I'd taken some losses over the weekend, but I'd just tamed up a megatherium after a lucky saddle drop and I was decently positioned for resources, so I figured I'd turn things around pretty swiftly. I was marvelling at the fibre collecting prowess of the big lumbering beast as I returned home, which is when I realised that the explosions had been the sounds of another safehouse being blown up. The megatherium was later murdered by a pair of cowardly therizins. Currently laying low with an iguanadon and a sabertooth while I restock on bullets and essential supplies.
  10. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] Cool, wet grass. Cool wet grass. Everything is temporary. We who choose to make our homes on the shifting sands of war must learn to adapt when our castles fall. Loss is an opportunity to build. I didn't want my undersea vaults anyway. Cool, wet grass. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
  11. Hey, there might be a certain raw sensuality in my posts, but I think this is the plot of a popular Japanese animated fetish movie. ?
  12. EU-PVP-Official-[REDACTED] The war machine’s been rumbling on quietly this week as Manolo and I firm up our position in the north. The argy has been an absolute godsend, laying waste to direwolves and daedrons with merciless abandon. Godammit Manolo, don’t make me start to care about you. Troy the feeble beaver drowned, which came as a surprise to both of us. RIP Troy, you died doing what you loved – helplessly struggling for air in the ink black depths of a frozen lake. He’s since been replaced with an upgraded model and I’ve added an anky to the gang, which I’d been hoping to do for a while. The old mountain safehouse got wiped to ground level. It’s been out of play for a while but it’s a concerning display of casual power in a generally backwoods neighbourhood.
  13. Oh, sorry. It looks like you'll be able to pm and react once you get out of the Early Birds group.
  14. Hi Cythraul - I'm by no means an expert, and what little I do know I've learnt through a lot of mistakes, but I'd be happy to talk survival tips if you're interested. Feel free to drop me a pm.
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