What is the right way? Getting wiped sucks yes but in pvp raiding is a thing that happens, create an alliance with one of the big tribes on the server to help start out or play on a beginner server to get an understanding of the game, and if you just want to play non pvp join a pve server or get together with the 15 people you have and run an unofficial server/private server for them. Otherwise it's part of the pvp game