BadDodo Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Greeting denizen of the past millennial, i have brought you a news from 5 year in the future of the ark. But before you swarm me with the question, yes the new iPhone can be charged with a microwave. The devs there has been fruitful as the are even richer than bill gates, the will basically gives out 5 grands for each dodo you kill which result in an actual endangerment of the dodo. Sadly ARK is still in alpha and they were going out with the v54000 update which brought you a new flyer that can lift the titanosaurus but for the "obvious reason" the bird still can lift a coel (dunno fish might weight a mountain. There were a lot more new petpet in the game so we basically have the megaloquagga so it's basically a zebra but it's 3x bigger, and the megalohippus so it's basically hippopotamus but 3x bigger and with a lot more teeth, and the new petpet that looks like a rock, but it's actually a sea crab scalled 3x bigger. The devs actually failed to figure out a new way to tame the titanboa, so they just added this new engram called as the snake repellent. The people from the pvp was having such a blast with the new bdsm update so not only you can cage new player and poop on them, you actually get to Unicorn them with the new phallusaurus horn. So you still don't get to use weapons while mounted but the gigatosaurus was getting a new update and it can now shoot laser from it's face, now the noobs is complaining about that the devs responded that the new update will give the gigantosaurus the ability to kill you just by looking at it. the last competition was fun so we got this game where we basically has to kill each other for $50.000, but the challenge end up going so awful as all of the player ends up getting killed by hypothermia and the guy who actually won is found standing in a rock. we still doesn't get any more uses from mid tier dinos but we got this new huge mouse with a lot of furs that collect you the unobtanium, the material that lets you build the new death star from the star trek tier, so they no longer has to ruin the server, instead just destroy it already so new player won't get to have any pvp fun. Ark developers has a new rule which is if you ever refer the bronto as the apatosaurus, you will get banned from every server in ark. the modding community was great because due to the new ark regulation, which is that all of your mod has to be official. so we got twenty different pikes that deals torpor damage, fifty new petpet which is basically the vanilla petpet that got scaled bigger/smaller and re-skinned and the would just called them as a new dinos including three new boss which is just the dodorex scaled and re-skinned. The devs just added six new biomes and they still promised it to be the last biome they'll add. We had this new food called the megalodon fin soup and the new accessories like the mammoth ivory, the sarco leather handbag. People were calling that as a parody/critique to the current problems, but it's turned out to be a bait for PETA to promote their game trough their gross campaign. So that's all for now guys, leave a question about the future here and i might just answer you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rippy Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Hey @BadDodo, I have a message from the now for you. Drugs are bad, m'kay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trentifus Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 16 hours ago, Rippy said: Hey @BadDodo, I have a message from the now for you. Drugs are bad, m'kay. Especially if you arent sharing them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d1nk Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 On Tuesday, May 17, 2016 at 5:45 PM, Trentifus said: Especially if you arent sharing them Is your avatar the scientist from jurassic Park? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trentifus Posted May 27, 2016 Share Posted May 27, 2016 4 minutes ago, d1nk said: Is your avatar the scientist from jurassic Park? Lol Sure is! Dr. John Parker Hammond, CEO and creator of Jurassic Park. "The mysterious John Hammond--Shady investor, multi-millionaire, jovial mad-scientist" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadDodo Posted May 28, 2016 Author Share Posted May 28, 2016 Just came back looking at my first post Still looking for the shroom I took the same day this post came into surface Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mronemanmob Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I am very disappointed that in the future we are not allowed to use the word "have" and instead has to use the word "has". That story from the future would has been way better if you would has used the word "has" less and used the word HAVE HAVE HAVE!!! very funny though, when it wasn't locking my brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILuvTheAwesomeDevs Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 LSHMSFOAIDMT (aka laughing so hard my sombrero fell off and i dropped my taco) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blakka Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 #lshmsfoaidmt thats my new hash tag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILuvTheAwesomeDevs Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Ya, I remember this post, ahhhhhh.... the old days before the raging infestation grew out of control.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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