fanfiction The last survivor, a single player story.

[Griffin1984]

As i’m a casual player who can’t spend 10hrs a day and I’ve started a new single player game on ragnarok with some nice mods and upgraded gathering (xp is still x1). While walking to work today I thought it would be nice to make a tread about the life of my game-character for all to read in a nice story  .

To the GM’s I’m posting 3 posts today, not to spam but because I’ve had 2 playsession’s already and want every session to be a chapter.

To all readers, don't be afraid to give opinions and comments on the story, my character might just do some of the suggestions you make   

Stats of the game: Taming, gathering x3, breeding x8, xp x1

Mod’s used: Structures +, Rounded walls, Metal with Glass, Eco mods, Versatile raft mod, Super spyglass, Death helper and upgrade station.

Other tweaks: No leeds or titans, reduced troodons, pegomastix and seagull’s, Playerdamage and playerresistance on 0.6 to not make it too easy with upgrade station J

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This is the life of Grif, the last survivor on the ark. The ark, build by some unknown alien race is a project where seemingly normal humans are placed on an island with mighty and scary creatures where they just have to survive and finally ascend into the ark. However there is nothing “normal about these humans as they seem to just come back after getting killed. The physical bodies are just clones, empty vessels in which the spirit of these humans are placed, linked to the ark master-core. However this project seems to be abandoned by it's makers as many spirit's have disappeared already either by ascension or dying to never return.

One of these humans is Grif, a female human who has been on different worlds, surviving, evolving and dying time and again. She used to be part of a lively clan together with her partner. Life was almost bearable and safe on the ark. War and peace came and went and however years passed by, aging wasn’t part of it. Every spirit on the ark had only one goal: ascension. To do this they had to survive one of the hardest caves you can even imagine.

Grif and her partner set out to this cave and fought their way through countless creatures to finally reach the ascension. Once arrived there, her partner had started the ascension process while she was fighting one last foe. Then disaster struck. As she was fighting she heard her partner say “hurry up, it’s starting”. This however, was the last thing she heard as the foe could make a deadly strike because of the distraction and she felt her bones crushed under the tremendous power. She died…. Again.

 

[Griffin1984]

Chapter 1: The return.

Grif’s spirit respawned but she immediately noticed things were different. Instead of respawning at the bed where she and her partner lived, safely in their base, she spawned on a beach surrounded by scenery she had never seen before. To her right she saw green mountains that look like highlands and a pack of allosaurs battling a turtle. To her left she saw a land destroyed by lava, with crystals glittering in the sun and further away a volcano. This was however not the volcano she died in, but a different active volcano.

She checked her inventory and noticed that all her engrams where gone. She also felt weak again, the cold was too harsh and her hunger and thirst worse.

She had lost everything, engrams, experience and skills alike. All she had left was the memory of her previous life as she was put in a new vessel. She knew right there and then that she had a long way to go before she would be able to join her partner and love that had hopefully ascended in the ark.

First thing Grif did was gather berries to saturate the immense hunger and craft a stone pick. Once she felt better and at least armed she went to explore the barren land destroyed by lava. Not even 10 feet in the land she heard a hiss. Grif turned around and saw the jaws of a megalania. Her reflex was to run immediately but she was to slow and got bitten with rabies. She felt the venom in her veins and knew death was imminent.

Grif respawned on the exact same place, this time she looked at the ocean, then the beach, and noticed that this beach was nice and flat. She could start making her base here and explore later when she’s stronger. All said and done, she made a 3x6 thatch hut that would eventually become her crafting-place and a seaside balcony with a campfire as the night was settling in. She had also crafted and upgraded several tools with the new workbench she could create, this because she noticed that her weapons and cloth armor weren’t as potent as in her previous life.  

Night set in and she stood by the fire noticing the temperature dropping. It wasn’t long before she realized that the campfire wasn’t enough. She took out her torch to help stay warm but even then it wasn’t enough. The temperature hit -7 and she was feeling weaker by the second. She died seconds later thinking “I need a second campfire and better protection.”

Grif respawned again and immediately gathered the resources, made a second campfire and killed the one dodo walking on that beach as to have some meat to help her body out. By the time she stood in between both campfires, finally being comfortable enough not to die of the cold, she was feeling so weak all she could do was lie down and rest.

Finally the sun came up and the temperature rose a little bit. Grif set out to get more meat as she had eaten trough her stack during the night. When entering the light jungle she saw a small group of dodo’s. Two of these where especially nice and she tamed them. While waiting for her first companions to stand up a dilophosaur came close wanting a snack. She finally knocked him out with her slingshot after a battle that felt more like fighting a sabertooth than this little pest. After a while the group of animals got up and she brought them to her hut. She finally didn’t feel that weak and alone anymore.

[Griffin1984]

Chapter 2: More friends

Now that Grif had some pets she needed to go out and get food for them. She ventured back to the light jungle as that place seemed to be the only safer place to go. Gathering berries and some meat she was thinking of finally upgrading her armor. She ventured further in the jungle looking for more creatures to get hide. But what she found was more than she bargained for. Three megalania had followed a turtle in the jungle and now turned towards her. She immediately turned around and ran back to the hut. Luckily the megalania did not follow as they thought the turtle was a tastier snack.

When nearly at her hut, she saw another megalania near her hut. “Are these things crossbreeds with rabbit’s?” she thought. She needed a new plan as soon as possible because the rabies of their bites is not something she wanted to feel again. She crafted a bow and some arrows but she knew that she’d need to upgrade the bow to be able to kill this reptile.

She stalked the reptile and when it was further away she ran inside the hut to upgrade her bow to apprentice. Once done she went back out to fight the reptile. The shoot and run tactic was working and she noticed that the reptile was getting really bloody. After the 20^th  or so arrow, she thought it’s time to finish this, she took an extra shot before turning again but this was foolish as the reptile got a bite and rabies set in again. She immediately thought about her partner mocking her whenever she pulled such noobish stuff. She continued shooting the last arrows to kill the reptile and succeeded but then succumbed to the rabies.

Grif respawned, got her stuff back and ran to her hut to finally feed her pets. Next plan was getting a better mount, she build a raft and explored the coast a bit looking for a nice trike. She saw one near the beach in the highlands and planned on the tame. Crafting 5 wooden pillars, a ceiling and some ladders she made a small platform from where she could shoot with her ramshackle slingshot.

It worked like a charm and she immediately remembered the first time she tamed a trike with her partner who thought her this trick. The trike was downed and eating the savorooth she had collected from some bushes earlier that day. “Time to make that saddle” she thought. She killed all dodo’s, lystrosaurs and a dilophosaur walking nearby and constructed the saddle. Night was setting in again so she quickly constructed several campfires to keep her warm and gathered enough narcoberries to feed the trike during the night.

Everything went well during the night and in the morning Grif set out to gather some metal nearby. The trike was still eating and no dino’s are near so she thought it wouldn’t harm to leave it alone. She gathered the metal but on her way back she felt a shiver down her spine when she saw a pack of allosaurs not very far from her trike. She took a detour by the water to reach the trike and nervously waited for the last bites the trike had to do before being tamed. Knowing that if those beasts would attack, she wouldn’t stand a chance. Luckily the allosaurs saw a juicy sheep they went after.

Grif arrived home again with her new friend and decided to build a safe place for her pets. She took her trike and ventured out to gather and craft the parts. Everything went well, killing those megalania with a good trike is childsplay and the building was nearly finished. A 6x15 square box with enough place for future tames. Just when she was gathering the last resources for the gate, a pteranodon landed right in front of her. This wasn’t just a pteranodon but probably one of the strongest you can find. Grif knew she had to tame it now because she knew from her previous life that you sometimes have to look for hours before finding such a strong specimen. She quickly crafted a bola and some narc arrows and downed the pteranodon. Now she needed some prime meat for the tame, or even better, mutton.

Grif went in the highlands on the search for a sheep avoiding the pack of allo’s that roamed on the hill. After a few minutes luck was on her side, a nice sheep was walking near a metal rock a few feet up. She ran up to it and killed it without thinking twice about it. Her partner never understood that she could just slaughter them like that. She ran back to the pteranodon and tamed it with the mutton and then cooked the spare mutton up for a next tame.

She had been spying those allosaurs and the alpha of the pack was looking really good.  

[clumsynynja]

So- is this supposed to be a story or you just telling us about your day(s) in ark? 

It doesn't read like a story. It reads like you talking about the shizz you did. Which is cool and all...but not a story. 

[Griffin1984]

6 minutes ago, clumsynynja said:

So- is this supposed to be a story or you just telling us about your day(s) in ark? 

It doesn't read like a story. It reads like you talking about the shizz you did. Which is cool and all...but not a story. 

you are right, it is me story-telling my gameplay srry if i'm unable to completely transfer it in a story  still hope you like the read  

[clumsynynja]

Just now, Griffin1984 said:

you are right, it is me story-telling my gameplay srry if i'm unable to completely transfer it in a story  still hope you like the read  

Not- really. 

It's clunky, awkward, and needs a lot of work/edit clean up. I could fully critique it for you, if you want. 

[Griffin1984]

1 minute ago, clumsynynja said:

Not- really. 

It's clunky, awkward, and needs a lot of work/edit clean up. I could fully critique it for you, if you want. 

you may do that, i'm allways open for constructive criticism

[clumsynynja]

2 minutes ago, Griffin1984 said:

you may do that, i'm allways open for constructive criticism

Alrighty. /Cracks knuckles.

To begin with, using game terms for a story about someone who is a 'real' person, for the purposes of this story, is a no no. 'Respawn'? 'Engrams'? Your language in general needs a lot of work. 

 

1 hour ago, Griffin1984 said:

She immediately thought about her partner mocking her whenever she pulled such noobish stuff.

 

 

This kind of sentence only works in a first person, informal setting. Saying something like this doesn't work with the mood you're otherwise going for. You have a LOT of lines like this in here; something like this might be better. 

 

Quote

'She immediately thought about her partner, laughing at such a foolish mistake and telling her she'd never learn.

See the difference? 

You use your protagonist's name WAY too much. 'She' and 'her' are words you need to learn to use more. Especially when you're in a situation with only one person the author could be talking about; use names when you need to differentiate speakers or establish someone. Otherwise, try not to. 

Your word choice and sentence structure is childish and awkward; very clunky, very hard to read. You use run ons and at the same time you have some sentences that are way too short. 

 

The pacing is horrible. 

 

That's just a quick rundown, without going into an insane amount of detail. 

[Griffin1984]

12 minutes ago, clumsynynja said:

Alrighty. /Cracks knuckles.

To begin with, using game terms for a story about someone who is a 'real' person, for the purposes of this story, is a no no. 'Respawn'? 'Engrams'? Your language in general needs a lot of work. 

 

 

 

This kind of sentence only works in a first person, informal setting. Saying something like this doesn't work with the mood you're otherwise going for. You have a LOT of lines like this in here; something like this might be better. 

 

See the difference? 

You use your protagonist's name WAY too much. 'She' and 'her' are words you need to learn to use more. Especially when you're in a situation with only one person the author could be talking about; use names when you need to differentiate speakers or establish someone. Otherwise, try not to. 

Your word choice and sentence structure is childish and awkward; very clunky, very hard to read. You use run ons and at the same time you have some sentences that are way too short. 

 

The pacing is horrible. 

 

That's just a quick rundown, without going into an insane amount of detail. 

In other words not that bad for someone who's native language is dutch not english lol . I do however wanted to keep the emphasis on me playing the game so some of these things (engrams, etc) will still return.

the using of her name to much is something i'll work on aswell as to try writing a bit less clunky and in points (as i believe that is what you mean by this), which is quite difficult when writing from ingame memories and trying to be as accurate without being to nagging  

i can't really help improve the pacing as a few hours of gameplay in ark usually can't contain much.